In this blog post, we will explore an example of a descriptive writing answer that has earned an A* / L9 grade. Descriptive writing is a skill that requires careful attention to detail and the ability to paint a vivid picture with words. Achieving the highest grade possible in this type of writing is no easy feat, and this example will provide valuable insights into what it takes to produce an exceptional piece of descriptive writing. Whether you’re a student looking to improve your own writing or simply interested in the art of descriptive writing, this blog post is sure to provide useful tips and inspiration.
Example Descriptive Writing Answer
When the Jones family bought Number Fify-Four, Hawthorn Road, they thought they were getting a great deal. The house was enormous, with five capacious bedrooms (not counting the attic) and a half-acre lawn for the children to run about on. It had been empty for a long time; the skittish estate agent had seemed relieved when Mr Jones had shaken her hand and agreed to purchase the property – but he just assumed that was because she’d be receiving a decent sale commission. It wasn’t until Mr Jones went up into the attic that he found out why.
A few months passed with the Jones’s living in the new place, and everything was going great. The kids had all chosen their own rooms: “I want the one with the ugly pink and brown flower wallpaper,” declared five-year-old Eliza and no one was inclined to stop her. The attic remained an eternal mystery to them all, denoted only by the thin outline of a white square on the white hallway ceiling. In fact, they forgot about it altogether. It was only when little damp stains started appearing all over the place that Mr Jones felt the need to grab the rusty old iron hook, push open the square and pull down the ladder, which fell down with a slow, protracted metallic screech.
Poking his head up first, it took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. The sharp, peppery dust made him sneeze; it was everywhere! It swirled a little in the gloom, trailing over stacks of ancient books piled precariously high. In the corner, a dusty old table was covered in melted candles, frosted vials, and dried flowers. A furry layer of dust coated the chalkboard, obscuring the writing below. The little window was thickly coated in dust so that it let in only the tiniest amount of light, which trickled pitifully downwards over an old wooden rocking chair.
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There was nothing visibly wrong with the rocking chair. It just looked like an old sewing chair – it had probably been used by the mother of the house years ago, as she sat round a fire in the evenings, darning socks, knitting scarves, sometimes snoozing with a fluffy grey cat on her lap. Nevertheless, it gave him an eerie feeling that he couldn’t quite place. What was it about the chair that seemed so strange?
It took a while of staring at it before the thought finally struck him. Dust! That was it. Not a speck of dust on the whole thing. The polished wood shined as if it was brand new.
“Marie,” he called, looking down the hatch. “Marie, come quickly! You’ve got to see this!”
From somewhere in the lower levels of the house, he heard her get up and head towards him.
A sharp creak in the attic compelled him to quickly look back up. The chair was rocking of its own accord as if an invisible hand had pushed it. Dumbstruck, he stared. It didn’t seem to be slowing down. If anything, it was speeding up, creaking faster and faster.
“What? What is it?” Mrs Jones replied crankily. She was annoyed as he’d made her get up.
Mr Jones, paralysed by fear, felt like his mind had cracked. Squinting through the dust, he thought he could make out an outline of a woman in the dim light. A woman turned in profile, her head bowed downwards, sitting in the rocking chair, swaying back and forth. Get a grip, he thought, shaking his head. He blinked hard and looked again: nothing was there.
“Are you ok up there?” Mrs Jones’s concerned face looked up at him from the square of hallway light.
“Yes, yes – I’m fine. I just thought I saw -”
But he didn’t have time to explain, because he saw a pair of yellow eyes staring at him through the darkness, and a second later a grey fuzzy shape yowled, hissed and flung itself at his face.
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